What dayte is today?

Hey Trippers was geeeeht,

So it is Friday but it's been 14 days since my last BLOG. Obviously much has happened but at the same time things have been normal too.

I went to Augsburg last week to see my long time friend Werner who has known me since hooping for TSV Schwaben Augsburg three and a half seasons. That was one of the main reasons for me to go there too since my old team went to Spain to have 2 of their current teams compete in the yearly occurring Easter tournament.

Now I am in the basement of his house and helping him work constructions. I really don't want to do these things just for money anymore but so far no other door has opened enough for me to substitute completely income and carry me sustainable over water financially.

One good achievement is that he offered me to do a video for his company that i would like to do more than construction work itself. Construction work on the other hand is amazing too because I get to spend time outside and move the body around way more than in front of a screen.

Speaking of, so I have been off the computer for about 10 days now and barely had internet access. The only real issue is not being able to communicate with my fiancé but I hope she understands and is not intimidated by it.

Being in Spain was funny since I have been here seven times prior to play in the tournament myself. In 2011 we won the tournament but I was mostly coaching and only played some seconds due to a surgery I underwent at that time to repair my ankles.

The seven times being there, Alcohol was constantly with me. This time I only drank 3 glasses of beer at Waikiki bar in the last night. I remembered some things from the other times there but I could barely relate to them. I also didn't miss it or wished for those times to come back even though they were incredibly funny at that time and I don't even remember everything that happened due to sincere blackout scenarios. I also can't recall laughing that much for one week since 2012 being there the last time.

I am a different person now and that is completely fine with me. I can see how my old home Augsburg hasn't changed as much as I have but I can still connect to it somehow and my friends there. That I am in contact with E.Ts. sometimes comes out of my being but no one asks me about any details or probably understands any of this. I sometimes don't even get it myself. Werner might be the only guy to be able to follow my transition from a certain perspective that allows a bigger picture. Also because especially this time we got to experience many so called synchronicities. For example he mentioned this guy who once made time-lapse Videos for one of Werner his labours which happened years ago. One day back from Spain we randomly run into this guy in a store. Then my long term friend Roman which was really close to me for about a decade wrote me a emotional long text as I was laying in my bed in Spain where we had some of the most intense moments together after many years and not a lot of contact. Also a friend of mine Caner texted my fiancé on instagram to see what I am up to and she replied that I am actually in his city Augsburg. Another one came by us creating a game for the boys in Spain in which the last task was called Mathias Braun who was the coach in the year we won another championship and introduced this game to us back then. And a couple days later he actually called Werner on his phone out of nowhere.

The consumption of meat and drive to compete and play games of who is better smarter or cooler is still very high and I must say I find no deep joy in it anymore. I was able to talk to some people softly about my believes but in no way to the extend in which I was able to bring through a full load of my essence and being.

It feels good to be on this little journey away from technology and the Idea of first contact. I feel more grounded but at the same time not fully in alignment. Now I don't know if I am supposed to integrate the old me again or if I am supposed to let it go and burn it to infinity in order to move on.

I had thoughts again of opening my relationship to Marcia but I think eventually I would loose her because we couldn't handle it yet.

Clear to me is that I am sticking more to the idea of changing continuously into the direction away from alcohol and competition but I am also not 100% sure yet.

We have our 5th annual beer pong world championship coming up in which I decided to drink beer for the last time after I decided to quit whisky and hard alcohol earlier this year on carnaval in Rio.

Later this year I want to quit mainstream supermarket diary products completely and only allow myself to eat cheese or eggs from nature and farmers I know personally. In other words I want to become Vegan for mainstream consumption of foods.

Other than these plans of releasing more of the for me outdates paradigm I am looking forward to the YahYel & Friends Tour 2019 and to keep VLOGGING on Youtube. Also I am very excited of getting my first real deal for Trippin' through Dimensions and to move forward in an amazing yet barely for me visible future.

I can't wait to be back on the road and share more incredible moments with you as life in the physical vessel continues to take its toe.

And one last thing I just can't leave out - I miss my fiancé A LOT!

This is I, lit, living the life & wishing you a nice trip!

from the heart,


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